Noblegarden should be renamed to….

eggfail…”Nobody Likes Garden!”  Blizz’s new anticipated holiday, Noblegarden, has come and past and I’ve got two words… Thank God!  This holiday is the biggest waste of time known to WoW-man.  Just about everyone I’ve talked to (actually it’s everyone, but I don’t want to get stupid comments saying “I liked it blah blah blah”) hated this event, and if you actually did the achievements, you would agree.

First, lets talk about the egg hunt, or as I like to call it “The Frustrating N00b Egg Ninja Wars!!”  So you go to a beginners area and look around for eggs, pretty simple, right?  WRONG!  The correct answer is you go to the beginners area and you YELL/SCREAM/PUNCH PUPPIES/FLAME/GO INSANE AND PUNT YOUR CAT ACROSS THE ROOM while trying to frantically right click stupidly colored eggs that spawn throughout that small area.  I mean come on!  Most people would fight and I’ve even seen people try to bribe their way to good spawning spots so they can camp and get eggs.  Since the spawns are not random and running around in circles is about as mind-numbing as camping, I can see their point.  Besides the point that sitting and waiting for these things is more boring and stupid than watching episodes of the Wiggles; it got even worse when someone /gasp IS CAMPING THE SAME SPOT AS YOU!  OMG!  All heck breaks loose then.  Between the “shoo!”s and the “get away n00bcake”s, its enough to drive anyone insane.  Wow is a cesspool of different types of people.  Unfortunately that includes rude and stupid people.  I can’t tell you how many times I heard yells of things trying to get the mean people trying to “steal” eggs from people.  The funny thing is that people try to actually reason with them only to be met with a “Hahaha” or a “Shut up n00b”.

Now the eggs are gathered for achievements and rewards.  Do do all this, you need at least over 100 eggs minimum.  This is the equivalent to being waterboarded for 30 secs the way I look at it.  It’s complete torture!  And you endure this for what?!  A stupid robe, other stupid clothes, and some flowers that puts bunny ears on people?!  So lame Blizz, so lame.  Now don’t get me wrong, there are a couple of actually good rewards.  For all you pet junkies you could get a pretty little bunny to follow you around; and for our Mage friends out there, you got a new polymorph; like you all need another choice out there.  (I have images of ADHD going nuts trying to figure out which animal to turn people into, its another rant for another post)

Blizzard could have done a few simple adjustments to help with all this waste of a holiday.  Having the egg hunt in the beginners areas only…. big mistake!  First off you are limiting the amount of spawn points, so then you get the campers and hence the madness of people stealing eggs.  You also got the n00bs that are like lvl 10 begging for money and help.  They should have done it by starting zones.  A vast area will actually cause people to hunt them rather than camp them.  Another thing is if they were going to put people through all this, at least give them some cool rewards.  Why does Brewfest get nice trinkets (well they were nice at the time).  Why can’t we kill a giant bunny for a nice “Rabbit’s Foot” trinket or something.  Oh well, Blizz didn’t really think this through.

Well, this is already a book, so I’ll continue with the rest of Noblegarden in my next post.  Until then, don’t go near the bunnies!  They are the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodents you’ll ever set your eyes on!  They also have huge, sharp, pointy teeth! 🙂


~ by klaki on May 4, 2009.

5 Responses to “Noblegarden should be renamed to….”

  1. The only other worse egg fail other then noblegarden is trying to get the green proto drake to hatch.

  2. I wish it would’ve been more like there were a limited number of eggs in the entire world- northrend, EK, Kal, or Outloand. Instead of the starting zones- but they could be there too. I think across toons I easily collected over 600 eggs. Curse you blizzard.

  3. He’s got huge, sharp… er… He can leap about. Look at the bones!

    and a little something to help our mage friends not go completely crazy:
    /p CC incoming, %t
    /clearfocus [target=focus,dead]
    /focus [target=focus,noexists]
    /castrandom [target=focus] Polymorph(Black Cat), Polymorph(Pig), Polymorph(Rank 4), Polymorph(Rabbit)
    /stopmacro [nogroup] [noharm]

  4. @X – Hence my choice not to do those dailies and buy the aforementioned egg.

    @Mango – That would be catastrophic! People who were not available to hunt at 12:01am would miss out. I do think it would be awesome if they were to hide them in towns/cities. 600 eggs?! That is madness! I’ll let you finish the rest.

    @Flour – Thx for the great macro. If you all are anything like me (takes 30 mins to order @ McD’s) this will save me a lot of time and frustration when choosing a polypet.

  5. That is the precise reason why I didn’t do any of the Noblegarden achievements. I get incredibly frustrated competing with people for spawns, so I wasn’t even going to waste my time.

    Matter of fact, this new “achievements” thing for holidays has deterred me from ALL holidays; just a waste of my time now.

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